A Big Hole

It was certainly a pleasant day with the sun and cooling north wind.  By the time noon rolled around, there were all the more strollers out and about in our Downtown.  In spite it being the last week of August, this weather feels more like the first half of September.

My morning came and went in a whoosh with all the places to be and people to see.  One of my appointments took me out of town, and for sure the drive was more than pleasant, and since the fields aren’t ready to be picked as of yet, there wasn’t so much dust in the air.  The billowy clouds were all the more vivid against the back-drop of clear blue skies.   More than once it appeared as if there was a storm front moving in, but it must’ve been all the more clouds hanging together as they moved thru.

One of my most recent listings just got sold today, and it came as no surprise to me because of the amount of interest it was getting since I listed it over the weekend.  It may have sounded like a fast sale, but there are other areas of the Midwest that have an even tighter market like Lincoln Nebraska.  One of my clients mentioned today that most homes in that city aren’t on the market any longer than hours, and at most, two days.  Now that’s what I call a sellers’ market.

In spite of there being a housing shortage in a number of areas, I’m still a bit concerned over the amount of debt the average household is servicing.  Many believe it’s the younger crowd who’re living hand to mouth, but I’m hearing of late that there’s now more financial stress being placed on the elderly with fixed incomes because of rising real estate taxes and the costs of goods and services.

One of my customers stopped by today just to see how things were going with the home he recently purchased.  After bringing him up to speed on where we were, I just happened to ask how his weekend went.  Not realizing it, I discovered he was involved in a memorial gathering in honor of one of his deceased siblings.  Since I’ve known a number of his family members over the years, I asked how everyone was taking the death.

After listening and learning more about the dynamics of his family, I discovered how very similar large families are when it comes to the way in which loss is dealt with on an individual basis.  I discovered that one has become all the more introverted, another has grown full of despair, and yet another being in near complete denial.

The only thought I could share with him was that there is no constancy in life because we are all in a state of evolution where the certainty of change is always there, and the only thing we can do for ourselves, is to start filling those “holes” of loss with goodness towards others by maintaining positive thoughts and performing actions in our lives that would make those who went before us, all the more proud of what we’ve said and done after their deaths.

People always speak about respecting the dead which I understand, but if we take it one step higher, I believe it best to live each and every one of our days as though we’re creating our own personal memorials by being the best we can be instead of wallowing around in puddles of pity which do nothing for ourselves, and certainly all the less for those around us.

Some months ago, this similar subject came up where another was ranting about what her deceased father did and did not want.  I could tell she was growing all the more dark and hateful toward some of her family members, and couldn’t help myself by asking, “Do you think your father would like seeing you in such a state if he were alive today?”  What I said must’ve hit a nerve because she finally started realizing that she harbored a hidden guilt that was being substituted by her lashing out at others.  She too has a big hole in her heart to fill, and there’s not one person other than herself who can fix it.  Very sad.

Tonight’s one-liner is:  Defending the truth is not something someone does out of duty, or to assuage guilt complexes, but is a reward in itself.

Joe Chodur

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