Cloistered Delusion

flower-1As we approach the end of the first half of 2015 I must say without question how thankful as well as appreciative I am for the business our community has given Holtz Realty. Being the oldest real estate office in North Iowa, I can say Holtz Realty has served multiple generations of families over these long years. Privately owned real estate offices normally don’t stay in business past the first and possibly second generation of brokers. I can count far too many closed and nearly forgotten offices since I started selling real estate. I can even remember the growing and shrinking of offices over these long years. Top dogs are not sustainable simply because of the aging process as well as other up and coming agents nipping at their heels for market share. I personally believe the reason Holtz Realty has remained in business for so many years is that we’ve always maintained a lower profile and developed long term client/customer relationships. Yes, there are those buyers and sellers who have no allegiance towards anyone but themselves. They often have the mentality of “What’s in it for me?”, when actually a real win/win situation is when there is a good and lasting relationship built on a real understanding of the needs of the clients/customers in the long term. On the flip side, those loyal clients and customers pretty much know they’re always going to get straight talk from the agent/office they’ve learned to trust. Again I say, “Thank you Mason City and North Iowa.”

In the midst of racing towards being prepared for closings tomorrow, I was phoned by a client who’s been helping with her aging father’s domestic affairs. She went on to say, “I’m nearly at my wits end whenever my brother who’s thousands of miles away calls me and attempts to micro-manage my father’s care.” I could tell she was not only angry but distraught as well. Seems nothing she does in the eyes of her siblings is enough because of what they “think” is best for her father. I’ve known this client for a very long time and believe without a doubt she’s doing everything she can to make her father safe and comfortable. I went on to say how I’ve seen these situations over and over again in clients and customers families as well as my own. Even attorneys have stories to tell about absent adult children believing this or that could or should have been done to extend the lives of an aged parent. What makes it even worse is when these maniacs in abstentia begin creating bizarre stories of what their parents possibly said 30 years ago about what they wanted when they grew old and in need of care.

One dear client of mine mentioned several months ago something about how her having to set a far away sister straight concerning their mother’s care. Knowing how she can get when challenged, I’m sure her sister’s ears were burned off before she ended the call.

Getting back to my call today. My client being even more frustrated said, “He even so much as hints that I’m coaching my father in what he believes is best for him.” I think I got her to finally feel a bit better by saying, “Nearly all families are plagued with adult children living far away. They’ve likely done little or nothing towards the care of their parents over the years and now because they’ve likely micro-managed their own children’s lives, they want to remotely manage another family member’s. Most of them are retired or near retirement and singularly wandering about in their own puddles of their pasts. I consider this to be an example of cloistered delusion.” She laughingly agreed and said she’ll try not to let her brother get under her skin the next time he calls. In thinking really hard about elder-family troubles, I can’t remember but one family that’s been immune to the discord created by multiple children dealing with their aging parents. I only wish the best for the adult care-giving child at hand being punished the most.

Joe Chodur

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