Shock Collars

scIf there were any times when I grit my teeth and force myself to smile, is when people arrive at public open houses who are about as far away from being capable of obtaining financing on that given property as my being able to swim the English Channel. I had that happen not long ago with some people arriving at an open home whom I had visited with not but several weeks earlier. Not one, two, or three of the family arrived, but five of them! I’m afraid there are some who believe going through open houses is something like a form of entertainment. Another type of buyer who shows up from time to time are those that are just out looking for decorating ideas. Really? Has anyone ever heard of the whole sections of magazine racks offering home decorating ideas and trends?

Some years ago, there was the most curious person who frequented nearly every one of my open homes. There was no rhyme or reason of the type or price range this person was in search of, as all price ranges and sizes were visited. The craziest thing was this person said little and just wandered around the home looking and the ceilings and walls with an almost possessed look. At first I was a bit concerned about the mental stability but soon discovered this buyer to be just a bit on the different side. Parents with small children are another source of annoyance. I know times have changed and parents consider their children to have adult minds, but indeed they don’t when at open houses. If I only had a dollar for the times I’ve firmly asked a child to stop fiddling with the property owner’s possessions. I’ve even directly asked parents to get their children under control. I’ve always been a bit fearful of something being broken.

I got a good laugh once when a buyer’s child “thought” he was going to jump on an owner’s bed. To his great embarrassment, he jumped on the bed of a “staged” home where there were collapsing cardboard boxes under him. I wish I had my camera with me that day. I must do some research to find out why many children enjoy touching and running their hands along nearly everything they come in contact with. When watching them do it sometimes, I’ve considered they must be absorbing memory or possibly the energy from items they touch. These times and more, are when I want to invent the world’s smallest shock collar that would be attached to wrists, and every time an open house frequenter steps out of line, they’d get a little zap to put them back in line. I believe everyone should have the mindset I have; another’s home should be treated as I would want mine to be treated.

Joe Chodur

About the Author | Joe Chodur

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