When It Comes To Abusive Relationships

For being the 13th of December, it certainly came as a surprise to find it raining nearly the entire day. It’ll be interesting to hear exactly how much we received, because if it were converted to inches of snow coupled with today’s wind, it would’ve likely been considered an old-fashioned blizzard. It sounds like towards the end of the week, our temps are going to be taking a nose-dive which I’ll not be looking forward to in the least bit.

After getting all my little early morning chores completed, I placed a call to my dear friend, just so we could get caught up on the happenings this past week. It sounds like there’ll be some transitioning in her household which I believe will be a good thing. I felt it time to share some additional happenings out of my past, which was to serve as a lesson for everyone who doesn’t believe that every good deed never goes un-punished, because I had a good handful of them to share. Please don’t think I’ve become selfish and unwilling, but rather on the line of being far more guarded, and especially whenever extending a hand or arm to blood relatives. What always “gets me”, is how people who’ve done the smallest of favors for you, continue to remind you of those insignificant things they’ve done for you, but completely and entirely forget what you’ve done for them, and likely because I just don’t remind any of those I’ve freely done things for, and if they’re that much into themselves, then it’s all on them. Yes, we had a good catching-up visit.

After hanging up the phone and then looking at the clock, I placed a call to the seller of 1215 S. Washington, just to get the answer to a question that came from a buyer’s agent, and once I had the answer, I called the agent back with the positive news she was waiting for. Not even two hours later, we had the home under contract, which came as no surprise to me because it’s one of the cleanest I’ve had listed in some time. Mid-century homes which are taken care of, always seem to sell in our area. It’ll likely be my first of hopefully many home-sale closings in 2023.

The bulk of my morning was spent getting the purchase agreement scanned and emailed out to the seller for signatures and initials, and then waiting for it come back so I could forward it to the selling agent to get one last initial from the buyers. Thank goodness the seller left the abstract of title with me, just so I can now get busy with the title work. With our Holidays in the mix, there’ll be additional days of business lost. I’m still confident everything will fall into place long before the day of closing.

I received a very troubling phone call from a past client of mine who while in tears, informed me that she’s getting a divorce from her husband. After getting her settled down a bit, I quietly listened to the story she told about what she’s been having to endure these recent years, and the more I heard, the more internally angry I became. Luckily she’s got an appointment with an attorney made to get the ball rolling, so hopefully she’ll be out from under that mental and physical abuse she’s been enduring for God knows how many months and years. Before she hung up, I made sure she remains strong and follows thru with the divorce, because there’s absolutely no reason why anyone should have live a life of fear.

Since I’ve helped a very many couples buy and/or sell their homes over these long years, I’ve developed a near sixth-sense when it comes to abusive relationships, and just today, I mentioned to the caller how from the very beginning, I could sense a dark side in him, and wouldn’t you know, she admitted that several of her long-time friends had said the same thing about him. Anytime I hear about such forms of abuse, my internal anger immediately kicks in to high-gear. Having seen the long-term, and sometimes generational effects it has on a given family, makes it all the worse.

Just this past weekend while working at my project, a certain family popped in my mind, which triggered my memory banks to open and start remembering all the abuse that took place in that particular family. It came as absolutely no surprise when later hearing there was even child molestation that was going on at the time. Reeling forward to the present, I can almost guarantee the reason those children had serious issues in their adult lives, was due to what had happened to them in that household during their formative years. Now can you imagine what’s now happening with those many thousands of Ukrainian children the Russian army shipped back to Russia? It makes me want to vomit even thinking about it, so whenever we’re on our own pity-pots, we must continue to remember the living Hells others are going thru on a daily basis. Yes, our lives could be one heck of a lot worse, and we must continue to remind ourselves of it.

Since I had some free time later this afternoon, and definitely not wanting to be out in this cold rain, I pulled out my well-worn black binder containing Christmas hymns, and then sat down and played a number of them. Of course while playing most of them, brought back some bittersweet memories of the many years I used to play at another church in our City. Yes, those were mostly good times, but along with them, a few bad.

What would really grind on me during their Christmas and Easter Seasons, would be these once or twice a year monied families who’d insist on taking over the music singing and playing at the most attended Services, just so they could show off to their visiting extended families and friends. I used to think to myself, “So, I’m good enough to play every single normal Sunday, but not good enough to play for the “Look at me I’m special ones.” I’m sure if any of those showoffs have evolved to the point of realizing the world doesn’t revolve around them, they’re likely now embarrassed whenever thinking about those drama-filled events.

Tonight’s One-liner is: It’s hard to contend against one’s heart’s desire; for whatever it wishes to have, it buys at the cost of the soul.

Joe Chodur

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