Stuck To His Rear-End

I couldn’t believe how humid it was out this morning, and after that light sprinkling of rain, it became even worse. It was a blessing I didn’t have that many appointments or errands to run outside the office today because the heat index must’ve been pushing a hundred by the time mid-afternoon rolled around.

As far as my two closings which are supposed to take place tomorrow, on my side of the transaction, everything’s ready, but still waiting for the closing company to give me a time. As the hours rolled on, my irritation was growing all the stronger, so to keep myself from being too focused on something I have no control of, I changed gears and sent an email out East to a dear friend of mine who’s now going thru a few difficult times with the death of a loved one.

It ended up being a rather long email, but after reading it in its entirety before hitting the send button, I dare say there must’ve been some sort of divine intervention which caused me to say what I did, and as far as I’m concerned, it was all good. In the last email I received, there was a mention of some family members descending on the personal belongings of the decedent, and from what was said, it sounded like a free-for-all with them grabbing any and everything of value, and then leaving a mess for someone else to clean up. Hmm…sounded pretty familiar to me. As far as I’m concerned, such actions are nothing but a manifestation of a person’s inner character.

Late last week, I made a point to call around to various tire dealerships to get a quote on replacing those well-worn tires on my vehicle. Out of the four I called, I ended up going with Mason City Tire which is located just across the street from our YMCA. The pricing was fair, and the availability of the tires were within reach, so the soonest I could get in, was at the hour of two today. I ended up having a friend of mine pick me up after I dropped it off and deliver me back to my office. About an hour and half later, they called and said it was ready, so I called my friend again to come and pick me up and drop me back off. The tires look good and the price didn’t have even a dollar added on to what I was quoted. Now that was a pleasant surprise.

Since I’d never been there before today, I’d say they’ve got a pretty good set-up, and likely why they’re doing well. Oh, did I have fun with the clerk who was printing out my bill. Since everything’s in the computer nowadays, she not only asked for my last name, but also my first. I couldn’t help commenting the fact that there are so few in our area with the same last name, and most of them hailing from other Counties and States. She said she wasn’t from here, so I asked where she grew up, and her answer was, “Forest City.”

With her telling me she was from Forest City, opened up a whole new subject which revolved around names and places where my “old ones” made their marks in this world. I couldn’t help mentioning the cemetery where some of them are buried which is smack dab in the middle of Forest City, and where the bulk of them are buried, is high atop a hill overlooking the lower graveyard on one side, and a school playground on the other.  What got her to thinking and laughing, was when I said, “Didn’t it ever make you wonder if that unusually small yet tall hill, could’ve possibly been an indian burial mound?” I know I got her to thinking, so I went on to say, “I wonder if someone ever used one of those machines to see if there’s something buried deeper than those coffins.”  Partly laughing and partly being possibly creeped out, I couldn’t help finally adding before walking out, “If someone does find something like that, you can be sure the shite’s gonna hit the fan in Forest City.”

When I arrived back at office, I followed up on some listings that a buyer wanted me to check on. I’m truly hoping she’ll remain patient because I know there’ll be something hitting the market which’ll fit her price range and needs. It nearly always happens that way as long as exuberance doesn’t get the best of them.

Speaking of exuberance, while pulling in a parking spot at a groceteria late this afternoon, I happened to notice in the corner of my eye, one of the buyers whom I’d spent a very many hours working with several years ago, and then later ditching me by purchasing an over-priced “for sale by owner” acreage. He didn’t see me, so I waited until he drove away, and when looking at the back of his vehicle, I couldn’t help noticing the amount of gravel road dust stuck to his rear-end. If I remember correctly, the place they purchased has a good two miles of gravel to travel before arrival. For their sake, I hope they’re finally up to speed with all the extra work and money it takes to keep an acreage humming along. You wouldn’t catch me living in such a desolate area.

I couldn’t help stopping at the garden center of HyVee’s Drug Store, just to check and see if there were any bargains to be had. Well, I discovered I have to stop feeling sorry for those struggling plants because whenever looking at them, I just want to bring them all home and start nurturing. I did end up buying at a great discount, nine very much struggling flathead cabbage plants. I have some room in my garden for them, so I’ll get them planted in a really good soil mixture with natural fertilizer and hopefully they’ll all snap out of it.

Most people don’t realize that if you have late maturing cabbage, and keep it growing in the garden right up until the first hard frost, you’ll end up with the absolute best tasting cabbage you’ll not find in any groceteria. I still remember how much better that end-of- the season cabbage tastes. If there’s enough, I may end up making a big batch of kraut.

Tonight’s One-liner is: The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless, that for some, it’s a complete substitute for life.

Joe Chodur

About the Author | Joe Chodur

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