Once Hidden Family Dynamics

When I left for office this morning, it was relatively calm outside, but as the day rolled on, the wind starting picking up again, and of course I had to be out in it more than I would’ve liked.

The phones were busier this morning and several of the callers we people wanting to wish me Happy Holidays, along with asking for guidance and directions on who would be the best roofers and plumbers to call for work they’re needing done. Of course I do have several “preferred” contractors who’ve provided good work along with charging fair prices, so I gave them their names and numbers. I’m sure some of those who’ve done poor work for me in the past, have no clue that word does get out and more sooner than later, they’ve lost good business, and only because of either their pricing and/or their sub-standard work.

I went over to check out the finished job on the home that had idiotic work requirements made on it by an appraiser. Everything looked satisfactory, so if that appraiser comes up with something else, then I’ll know for sure there’s some sort of hidden agenda going on which I have absolutely no clue as to what it is, other than my having challenged a value placed on a home that sold about nine months ago, and of course that pride-filled appraiser wouldn’t back down. About six months later, the exact floor plan of a home in that very same neighborhood sold for over $25K more. I just hope those poor sellers never find out what that home sold for, because I’m afraid they’ll be on the phone with that appraiser. The biggest problem with mis-guided appraisers, is that price per square footage is not the only factor, because there are others like location which comes into play. I now have to wait until Wednesday for the final inspection which also has both my seller and myself a little burned.

A long-closed door was reopened recently when seeing an obit in the paper of a gentleman who I worked with in selling he and his girlfriend’s home a very many years ago. Oh how the memories of that incident came rolling back to the point I could see them standing in my office and sheepishly telling me they purchased the very home I showed them at least three times, from the agent who had the offer on their home. The day it all came down was one of the most detestable deeds another Realtor could do to another. That agent had the nerve to act as if it was commonplace to go directly to another agent’s sellers and likely say something like, “I may have a buyer for your home, but you have to buy my listing if I do sell it.” I made the big mistake of telling that agent who had the offer on my listing, “If you bring an acceptable offer on my listing, then I’ll very likely have an offer on yours that very day.” Yes, I was played like a fiddle, but after seeing how dirty that agent played, I nevermore had the least of respect for that person. I did let my sellers know how deeply disappointed I was with them, and in spite of their attempts to make valid excuses, all I said was, “You know what you did to me, and it will likely follow you for the rest of your life.”

When speaking about that happening with a colleague today, I let it be known that even though I may not appear to have remembered the nasty things other agents have done to me, they’re completely wrong because I may have forgiven, but I’ve definitely not forgotten. Yes, there are still those agents out there who worship the almighty dollar but carry on as if they’re blamelessly lily-white. Oh the stories I could tell but choose not to. The biggest issue I’ve had with some, is their unwillingness to work in the best interest of their clients/customers, and instead, work only in their best interests which all goes back to the almighty dollar. Oh well, not one of them will be able to live forever or take it with them when they do go.

A casual friend stopped in today to wish me a Merry Christmas, and somehow we got on the subject of how once hidden family dynamics unfold after their last parent is dead. The more she shared, the more I compared happenings within my immediate family. She’s still at the point of lying awake at night wondering why her siblings are treating her they way they have, but I made sure she understood that indifference is not a sin because when you wish the best for those who’ve done you great harm and then closed the door of communication, then it’s just OK because we can’t change such mentalities, and especially when they’re likely too old to change. We both had a good laugh about how people who live many hundreds of miles away from their parents, think they know what’s best. Of course we also talked about how some so conveniently manage to have selective memory loss and then clip and paste delusional happening in those blank slots. That visit was the highlight of my day when knowing there are likely millions of other families experiencing similar situations. As far as I’m concerned, it all comes down to fear, guilt and jealousy. Yes, those three have caused many families circles to be permanently broken.

Yesterday’s buyer called today and asked to see a home that just came on the market, so I called and scheduled a mid-afternoon showing, Having sold that home many years ago, I was convinced it wouldn’t be big enough for her, and that’s exactly the review I got while walking thru it with her. I’m still hoping and praying the right “fit” will hit the market soon, just so I can get her comfortably settled into a home she’ll enjoy for years to come.

Before heading home, I stopped at a groceteria to pick up more ingredients for my fudge recipe because I’ll be making some deliveries before Christmas arrives. While on the phone with one of St. Paul’s members today, I heard another rave about yesterday’s fudge which she considered exceptionally good, and my only response being, “You can blame it on those freshly cracked black walnuts.”

Tonight’s One-liner is: People don’t believe lies because they have to, but because they want to.

Joe Chodur

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