When you’re Dead

Thinking this wind was going to die down, soon became a mindless desire when finding it blowing all the harder as the sun marched across our sky. I’m hoping it’s not going to be like this for the remainder of our week, as those biting-cold gusts were chilling me to the bone, but at least the sun was shining and tricking us into believing it more bearable.

My early appointment was with a buyer who wanted to take a look at a country property, so instead of meeting at the place, we decided to ride together which made that trip all the shorter with our listening and sharing of each other’s stories.

When we got there, the wind was blowing all the harder, which prompted my buyer to look less on the outside, and more on the in. By the time he was finished with his “eagle-eye” inspection, without even asking, I could tell it was a definite “No”. As I’ve been saying, these acreages and country homes are getting priced way out of reach for our general public, and today’s showing was a prime example. For sure there’ll be someone with suitcases full of cash, or a friendly banker ready to offer a bloated mortgage on it, but when you have someone who’s a middle-class worker looking for a quiet place with a little more yard, and room for a couple of goats or pony, today’s prices are out of reach. I couldn’t help sharing with him my thoughts regarding some recent acreage sales which I felt being fat prices being paid for cursed soils. Since he seemed interested in hearing about acreages with entities, I shared my real-life story about one that nearly had me driven to the nuthouse before it sold. To this day, I still refuse to even drive past it, only in fear some “thing” will be waiting for me in the middle of that dusty gravel road. I’m sure that homesite still contains one “yell” of an unholy presence.

When we got back, we bid our farewells until another day, and headed back into my office to begin a research project I’d been putting off. After several hours of gathering info, I decided it was enough for today, as when being too long-immersed in something containing so many variables, too much time spent in one day, can cause one to become overwhelmed. I’ll be back at it again tomorrow.

I received an unfortunate call today from a gentleman I’ve been working with, just to inform me that he’ll be in quarantine for some days after finding out his infant was tested positive with the coronavirus. A chill ran down my spine when remembering I’d just read last week that this new mutated wave, is now affecting our young. I’ll be praying all will be well with them.

Several other phone calls came in regarding recent property assessments which required my insight and direction, and one of them agreeing to stop by my office this afternoon, just so I could help with the filling out of his form of protest. Since I made sure to have all the necessary addresses and numbers prepared before he arrived, our meeting didn’t last very long. Thus far, I’ve had six people asking for direction with their new property assessments, and likely before the deadline of April 30th, there’ll be more. I said to one of them, “If our assessments are too low, then in a sense we’re stealing, but if they’re too high, then then our government is stealing from us.” Right?

Another dear one called today asking what my take was on the placing of memorials for the deceased in full public view. Well, I’m not sure what she thought of my opinion, but it was asked, so I gave. For the most part, I’ve always considered such public displays, being another form of “Look at me and my family.”, which is fine in some respect, but when it’s in big letters for all to see, that’s a bit more than much. I made mention how in generations past, if there’d be something donated in memory of a decedent or family, there’d normally be some small brass plaque at the bottom which you’d have to squint to read. I even went on to say that there’ve been times of late, when seeing such and thinking, “What made them so special?” Yes, I’m being wicked again.

As far as I’m concerned, these grand weddings and funerals of today, are akin to something real royalty would do. When speaking about it, I remember having played and sung for a few of those ostentatious weddings, and wouldn’t you know, they didn’t even pay me the normal gratuity. I can still see the bride and groom of one in my mind, and thinking at the time, “Oh, you really wanna make the world think you were both of the manor born?”, and wouldn’t you know, they couldn’t even pay for a few chirps.

Not too many years ago, I was sucked into being part of the funeral arrangements of a non-blood relative. If only they knew how many times I had to bite my lip when seeing the prices being paid for all of “Pa’s” extras. Why would anyone want to buy one of the most expensive caskets and vaults, for a dead person? Did they think their family member will some day be able to be exhumed and paraded around town every ten years like some cultures do? I’ve always been of the belief that when you’re dead, you’re dead. And yes, it’s all part of the funeral home directors playing on the raging emotions of the decedent’s family. It’s no wonder cremation has grown all the more popular.

Ok, it’s time to be nice, so I’ll move on by talking about this year’s seed-starting, which I think has gotten a little out of hand considering the number of tomatoes and peppers that’ve come up. If I’d have the time and will to plant and take care of them all, I could have an income side-line being fresh vegetable kiosk stationed at the back of my office. I’m hoping the seeds from those absolutely beautiful, as well as delicious tomatoes I had last year, are going to produce similar crops. I’d say they’re in the top five of being the best I’ve ever eaten. Let’s hope we have a good growing season, as I just recently read that our Southwest may be experiencing a record drought this year. Let’s pray for rain.

Tonight’s One-liner is: Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.

Joe Chodur

About the Author | Joe Chodur


JoeChodurbeganhisrealestatecareerin1981duringthe...read more about: Joe Chodur

View page.