Muscular Right

I was wondering why it looked so bright outdoors before the sun came up this morning, but when looking in our western sky, I could see the moon nearly full, so I checked my calendar, and sure enough, we’re going to have a full moon tomorrow. Over these long years of selling real estate, I have noticed more activity during this phase of our moon, but of course a recent study claims to have de-bunked any sort of added effects on humans. Well, I would beg to differ with them, because there are those little changes in character most don’t notice.

The bulk of my morning was spent going over my taxes for the last time before meeting with my tax person this afternoon. I’m hoping Uncle Sam will not be as brutal with me as in recent years because it can sometimes be an agonizing vicious circle to where I’ve had to work hard the following year, just to play catch-up from paying the previous year’s taxes. Oh well, like I’ve said, “There’s nothing more certain than taxes and death.”

The phone was a-buzzing today with calls coming in, and most of them were those looking for rental housing. I would’ve thought everyone and their dog had purchased this past year with all the impetuous home-buying that’d taken place. Like I said to my tax man, there’ll be a comeuppance when our market does correct, and Heaven help those who’d abundantly over-paid with little or no downpayment, as just recently, one of my colleagues mentioned having seen something on television regarding certain cities already experiencing descending home valuations. Let’s hope whatever correction we get hit with, isn’t in the double-digits.

As I’ve said before, I’m still not understanding why our City’s business developers aren’t focusing on attracting more senior citizens to our community. When you think about it, they’re the ones with stable incomes, long past their trouble-making years, and certainly not of radical mindsets. I mentioned to someone several days ago how much I’ve always enjoyed working with the elderly, and most of the time, they can sense that I’m on their side when it comes to buying and/or selling. Just today, I mentioned to my tax man how eternally thankful I am for the good and lasting business North Iowa has given me over these many years.

While on the phone with a client today, he mentioned again how thankful his was for some recent pro-bono work I did for him, and my soulful response to him was, “I really don’t mind going the extra mile for those who truly appreciate it, as there’ve been far too many times when I’m nearly forced to do things for free, and not getting any sort of thanks, so don’t worry even the slightest over my choice to freely do things for you.” After I got off the phone with him, I was again reminded, we still do have some darned good people still living in our midst.

Having grabbed a bite to eat around noonish, I returned a few more phone calls, and then headed over to my tax preparer for our yearly meeting. His secretary was once again delighted to see me darken their door, and as I walked up to their counter, I had to take my glasses off because they were getting steamed from my face mask, which prompted me to say, “I hate it when my glasses get steamed.” That little statement created a back-and-forth joke between us to where I finally gave her a wink and said in front of her employer, “Well, when you’re hot, you’re hot, and when you’re not, you’re not.” I dare say I’d never seen the both of them laughing so much. Isn’t it fun when you can turn simple statements into clever rounds of jabs that can be taken more ways than one?

I’ve always been a bit of a teaser, and I can say I came by it honestly from my mother’s side of the family, and for sure I’ve put my witty thoughts to work on occasion. I used to think up some of the most clever tongue-twisters like, “I’ve been trying to tie my tastefully tailored tapestry tie.”, which would most often get a few laughs, or at least an eye-roll. Yes, in these “trying” times, we still have to find ways to have a little fun, which reminds me of something a colleague said to me today which really got me going.

He changed to the subject of the “Family Guy” which is that cartoon series, and mentioned an episode where one of its male characters was given instructions on how to skate around on the internet. Well, he’d not been seen in weeks, and when he showed up, his right arm was much larger than his left. He was asked what he’d been up to, and his only reply was, “Oh, I gotta get back to my computer.” Believe it or not, I had no idea what the muscular right arm was all about, but after being “educated”, I blushingly said, “After all these years I considered myself fully-jaded, but after hearing about the one bulging-arm, I’d say I’m still a bit naive.” I’ll let you draw your own conclusions as to why his right arm was so much more muscular, and yes, I did get a laugh out of it.

How this whole “bulging arm” business got started, was when I mentioned how filthy a male tenant had left a home he was living in to where I said, “Since his spouse is the real breadwinner, I can’t imagine what he was doing all those many months home alone.” He answered with a giggle, “Did you check to see if one of his arms was more muscular than the other?” Yep, I most innocently got pulled into that one. Of course I’ll likely be more aware of arm sizes from here on out. At least some of this “man talk” can still be brought to harmless laughter.

Speaking of such stuff, I can remember back when I was attending my “super-strict school”, where boys were were not allowed to have their hands in their pockets. Yes, it’s the absolute truth! I can still remember hearing teachers snapping at those who’d not followed but one of their many rules. Those hard-coded academic laws stayed with me over these years to where I still find it a bit odd when seeing males walking around with their hands in their pockets. Oh how our world has changed.

Tonight’s One-liner is: Music is the shorthand of emotion.

Joe Chodur

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