IlluminationsThank heaven the wind changed and now we’re back to the cooler air from the north.  For me, summer is at its best when we have the cooler and drier breezes.  I still can’t fathom how people living in the hilly southern States like Tennessee, Kentucky, and the Virginias can stand the heat and humidity during the summer.  A number of years ago I spent several days in Kentucky and was shocked at how humid it was.  I went out for a walk in the morning and found the trees dripping dew.  That’s all I said when driving away was, “This place is not for me.”  Since it was raining yesterday, I found myself doing Saturday outside chores today.  The rest of my day was spent playing catch up on desk work so not to have unfinished tasks waiting for me tomorrow morning.  One of the calls I had to make today was to a client whom I’ve never met but since I’ve recently been having more phone conversations with her, I would say she’s one of those few who posesses a keen insight regarding just about any topic including life in general.  There were two things she said to me which I’ll never forget.  She was sharing some of her experiences with a death in her immediate family which took place a number of years ago.  She went on to say how when a relative who was quite close to her died, all those delicate threads that bound her family started unraveling in very negative ways. She said, “I thought it would be better as time passed, but rather continued to get worse until I decided it was just all their craziness. That’s when I realized it had nothing to do with what I was or wasn’t doing because I finally understood it was them, and I moved on.” Because her job was one in which she was surrounded by people who were elderly and dying, she quickly recognized those same signs of smoldering family discord.  She made me laugh when she said, “I’m getting old and I have my health issues, but one big plus about being old and not a youngster anymore, is that I don’t ever have to live with my siblings again.”  That was quite the statement, and I’m sure nearly no one wants to go back in time and re-live their youth growing up in a household with brothers and sisters who were not one the same wave length as you.

While working at a mundane task this afternoon I began thinking about that conversation with my wise client this morning along with rsimilar things I’ve read over the years regarding the ever-evolving relationships we have with those around us.  Some writer once said, “Why do you chide me for what happened yesterday because I’m not the same person today?”  Those who continue to bring up the past and hash over things others did or didn’t do to them, makes me wonder who the person is that changed the most?   As far as I’m concerned, the dwellers of past have refused to evolve and are subsequently stuck in puddles of their distorted past.  I remember not long ago a woman telling how her sister would always run and hide to get out of helping with household chores, yet that feigner of duties as a child, tells others in these times how much more she did than her sister.  Someone recently wrote to me saying he’s learning more life lessons as he’s growing older.  I’d rather say his lessons were given long ago, but he’s been too busy to slow down and think long and hard about happenings in his past to where they become his illuminations. It’s then, when real understanding arrives.

Joe Chodur

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