Frog under a Bunsen

Frog under a BunsenOne of the most annoying things happened today and that was when someone started making last minute requests on a business transaction.  I can’t begin to say how many times people believe I can just snap my fingers to where all changes are made and everyone goes on their merry way.  Unfortunately it’s not like that.  There’s always a protocol to follow on the back sides of business which most in the general public don’t even realize exists.  To try and keep these last minute hiccups from happening, I usually become a bit of an annoyant in asking more than once if this or that has been done. Some people may consider me a bit ditzy by asking them too often about having performed necessary tasks prior to and after closings.  Yes, I do get eye-rolls from people once in a while because of my questioning, but it’s really better to have been considered annoying at the time rather than having eleventh hour forest fires to put out.  Nobody likes last minute surprises unless they’re drama kings or queens who want to be the ones to fix a problem they’ve likely created.  On top of it all, I was overly pestered today by text messages while attempting to get far more important tasks completed.  There are several of my colleagues in real estate that have taken the texting to new levels.  I thought it was just me who’s found them overly impersonal, but the more I’ve spoken with a number of people in the general public, I’ve discovered they’re mostly in agreement.  What I’ve also found is there’s a propensity of one or two in a group of friends, relatives, or business associates who seem to keep the texting back and forth in motion.  I’m glad I’ve not been branded as one of those ringleaders.  On a lighter note, I’m going to remain confident the remainder of this week will come to a close in a delightful and productive way in spite of our having a full moon this Saturday night.

While getting some banking done today, I was engaged in conversation with several clerks.  The conversation turned to the subject of relationships which become more and more fractured due to one or other spouse being more controlling and verbally abusive.  Most humans who are of that “dark side” tend to be very clever at making changes in their spousal relationships with their slower and methodical steps to where after a while, the abused grows accustomed to his or her gradual, yet methodical way of turning into a totally manipulated person.  Since I’ve been around clients and customers for a good number of years, I’ve found those changes to be more visible since I don’t see most of them on a regular basis. Therefore, the numerous subtle increments of change are more noticeable to me. Some of the most clever ones are the home devils and work angels.  To the general public as well as extended family members, it’s not visible to see what’s really going on at the home front of an abused spouse.  Someone asked me once about a client who before she married her husband was very strong minded and independent, and my response was, “Her husband was very covert in how he slowly wore her down to where she became totally co-dependent on him.”  I also said, “He was a classic case of the frog in the beaker experiment to where if you place a frog in a beaker of boiling water over a Bunsen Burner, it’ll automatically jump out, but if it’s placed in a beaker of cold water and you gradually heat it up under the Bunsen, it’ll allow itself to be boiled to death.” They both actually looked at me in astonishment and said, “I never knew that happens with a frog!”  It’s all about the slow acclimation to something that’s intrinsically wrong in relationships—but goes unnoticed until it’s too late.  My advise to everyone is to never ever allow yourselves to be considered that frog under a Bunsen.

Joe Chodur

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