Behavior Modification

owl-1Having to endure times with colleagues who don’t listen or read messages from me cause me to wonder if all the peripherals of the internet, plug-ins, and social media in play around them, give cause for them to be in the state of half concentration when reading or listening. Multi-tasking has risen to a new level this past decade. More often than not, I find buyers as well as tenants looking for ceiling fans in the bedrooms they’re inspecting. I found that it’s not so much the air movement that they desire, but rather the sound coming from the fan. Dead silence is not something most want to be around because they’re so used to some sort of noise during their waking hours. I was invited to see a room some years ago that was like a panic room where there were no windows, a very tall ceiling, and exceptionally thick walls. When the metal door was closed, I suddenly heard absolutely nothing. The more I tried to listen for something, the more I realized I was encountering the state of dead silence. I think if I stayed in there long enough, I’d likely have been able to hear myself think.

In receiving a call from a dear old friend early this morning, we found ourselves back up to speed with the happenings in each other’s world. I mentioned a conversation I had with someone yesterday whom I hadn’t personally seen in a great while and discovered that he’s in the same mental ditch that he was in twenty years ago. The only thing that’s changed with him is his age. When I was around him on a regular basis, I would encourage him as much as possible to figure out what is really holding him back from being generally happy. He exercises too much and pays far too much attention to what is going on with his body; be it his weight, his hair, the clothes he wears, and the food he eats. I was reminded yesterday that his conversations about anything other than what’s happening with his exercise program along with everything else associated with health, are dry and sort of mechanical. He just doesn’t get the idea that there is more to life than chasing after the fountain of youth. My friend mentioned that he has likely encased his personality within vault of sorts and allows no one to enter to where he’s living two separate lives. One life for the world, and one in the deep recesses of his mind. The thing that makes me sad is that he’s lived many years in a state of sadness and doesn’t even realize it. Long ago I found his nervous laugh to be nothing more than a mask. I told my friend this morning that there’s absolutely nothing anyone can do for him unless he makes the choice to change. I will continue to have empathy for him and his situation but nothing more.

Having to place several calls today to buyers who are waiting for answers on offers, I was again reminded how timeliness is out the window and everyone has an excuse for not getting back to me within a reasonable time frame. Someone came to the office today asking to see a house and was shocked that I could meet her there in twenty minutes. She said, “I really wasn’t expecting you having time to show it to me.” I smiled and said, “Sometimes we just have to make time.” Let’s all step back and look at our own MO’s and see if it’s time for a generous dose of behavior modification. And make it all the quicker if you find yourselves being a bit owly with others.

Joe Chodur

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