Tending One’s Garden

More times than I can remember, there have been people with whom I have crossed paths with that seem to make it the center of their existence to be more concerned about what their friends and families should or shouldn’t be doing rather than paying more attention to the health and welfare of their own lives. I remember a client from so many years ago that spent hours a day on the phone to friends and relatives hashing over everyone and everything. I couldn’t get the home sold fast enough to get that person off my plate as I was beginning to find myself getting pulled into the web of intrigue within that family.

What I also find quite strange and curious, is when family members who live thousands of miles away and likely see their children or parents perhaps once every year or two, suddenly know what should or shouldn’t be done on a daily basis in the care of their family. I was fortunate to have had the experience of living for a time in a household where there were four generations under one roof. Yes, there were trying days at times but it was a great life lesson. There are moments when I remember those days with smiles.

Just recently, I received a phone call from a gentleman who has very little contact with his aging father.  He wants me to help him convince his father to move either to a retirement home or into assisted living.  That conversation didn’t go over very well because his father has his faculties and irregardless of the age, every man and woman in this country has rights.
Getting back to the point of this article, I truly believe that if we all would pay more attention to our lives and our own welfare; then we wouldn’t be spending so much needless effort in attempting to change someone else’s life. I hate thinking this but, whenever I encounter people that are pulling someone down, I consider them to be internally miserable. Wouldn’t it be better to lift oneself up?

In the old days, these words had their own expression. “Don’t look over someone else’s fence too long for fear you will loose interest in tending your own garden.”

Joe Chodur

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