Send in the Clowns

It seems cold and rainy days tend to bring out the retrospection in people. I had to return a phone call today to a past client informing him I couldn’t help him out of a mis-calculated decision he made regarding a real estate transaction he entered into without even giving me a call at the time to ask my opinion. I was empathetic towards him but I truly couldn’t help him. I felt a bit sad after hanging up the phone.

This afternoon a dear elderly woman whose family has been clients and customers of mine over the years arrived un-announced. Her normally light and smiling attitude turned dark when she spoke about some of the recommendations her children have been giving her about her future. Evidently one of them that lives out of State thinks she is loosing her memory. After she left, and hopefully in better spirits after giving her a big helping of encouragement, I was again hit with another wave of sadness. It angers me a bit to find adult children making quick assumptions about what is best for their aging parents especially when they don’t live near them.

For the most strange reason I suddenly remembered a song that I hadn’t heard for a number of years that was popularized by Judy Collins. The lyrics of the song are more a metaphor and simile of one speaking about looking back and reflecting on mistakes made during one’s life. I believe the songwriter meant for this to be about a lost love but it can certainly be used in comparison to mistakes being made during our lives that often times follow us for years.

I’m sure many of us including myself can begin flipping back the pages of time and wish for a moment or two to be able to turn the clock back and make the right choices. Yes, that would be a quick fix, but consider if we were able to step back and “fix” a decision or choice, then would our world here and now have been changed to the point of non-recognition? Mistakes are made to create understanding and better judgement when confronted with choices in the future. Too many wallow in a form of self-pity over their present conditions rather than getting up and moving forward in their lives. I remember one commentator who used to be on the radio saying in a strong voice, “The past is dead! Take care of today and tomorrow will take care of itself.”

In finding the song Send in the Clowns, it warmed my heart in listening to it after a dark, cold, and a bit sad day.