Janitor in a Drum

janitor-1In an attempt to keep myself smiling today in spite of hearing of several disturbing phone calls from a bit looney, non-blood related, and certainly not distant enough relative, I’ve decided most people who live in the hinterlands really don’t get it when it comes to standard protocol when conversing with others. The turning of the tables of reality and open faucets of tears really don’t set well with me. It simply causes me to wonder who dropped the ball in their families and communities when it came time to learn about normal real-life interaction with others.

A client called today simply to make sure I received all the documents I needed and asked how my day was going. I said, “About as good as it could be on the business side, but not so good on a “not distant enough” relative side.” He made me laugh with his reply, “I always back away from my normal curiosity when someone speaks of their disturbing distant relatives and the “C” word.” Yes, we all have them and wish they would go as far aways as possible, but no farther. I’m convinced there are certain communities in various States that have the most hillbillyish ways of conducting themselves within their own family units. I’ve found many of them are lorded over by aging patriarchs that set down laws within their families that one would consider to be a bit Medieval. I remember an old bull of a man who had about a sixth grade education who would come up with the silliest of reasons why he wanted things to be done as he saw fit. His opinions on subjects of which he barely knew anything about was reserved only for his immediate family who believed his words to be the Gospel truth. I remember a situation where I confronted one of these types in regards to his pouring grease down a kitchen sink drain and telling him if it happened again, he would have to pay for unplugging it. He dismissed the idea that pouring grease down a sink would plug it because he believed there was too much of a bend in the drain pipe under the sink. That bend was a normal “P” trap which is standard for kitchen sink drains.

The unfortunate by-product of growing up within a family containing an “old bull” is that the children, especially the boys learn from him and grow up to be just like him. The girls of those families grow up likely to be submissive wives who wonder how they got short-changed by coming down the chute as females. Yes, hearing about some of the conversations filtering out of “old bull” families causes me wonder if they’re ever going to evolve. Getting the leg up on the evolutionary ladder does take a bit of a struggle at times, but it really can happen if they’d only make an effort.

One of our cleaning people called today about the amount of effort needed in cleaning a bathroom that likely hadn’t been cleaned since the tenant moved in some years ago. Between the tub/shower unit and the area in and around the toilet, sounded like it was nearly an all day event. Men who’re young, middle-aged, or older who can’t seem to keep from “spraying” when going number 1 should either sit down on the water closet, have a bathroom re-model done and install a urinal, or have a daily visit by the local janitor in a drum. I can’t imagine how people who have wall-to-wall carpet in their bathrooms manage when there’s a male in the house who sprays. They would have to have an infantry of janitors in drums to keep ahead of the puddlers.